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How Your Circle of Friends Influence Who You Become

For many years, I lived by the belief that how smart and talented I was, would be the single, most important factor in determining my level of success in life.

The grades I thought I had to achieve through sacrificing nights, weekends and holidays for. Having to consistently be regarded as one of the top performers in my class. And, how there had to be mastery of all subjects studied, regardless of interest.

Now, I’m not saying that these accomplishments were of no use at all. In fact, I’m incredibly grateful for all the opportunities and lessons, which I’ve received from the pursuit of academic excellence.

From entering adolescence, to hunting down my first job while at university, it has allowed me to understand that hard work and perseverance are essential ingredients to getting what you want out of life. They are the catalysts that help turn visions into reality.

What hit me over time however, and particularly in the last few years, is the fact that our success in life more often than not comes down to the people we choose to spend our time with.

How smart you are.

How talented you are.

Where you were born.

The family environment you grew up in.

These may all play some role as to how successful you will be in life, but in comparison to the impact of surrounding yourself with people who can lift you higher, it doesn’t compare.

An individual maybe born into riches but live an unhappy life, while someone from more humble beginnings maybe able to manifest their dreams in record breaking time. All because of the company they keep, which influences their way of thinking and thus resulting in a mindset for success.

Our habits determine the person we become. Environment optimisation is an important one that can have a profound impact on your well-being.

Want to be successful? Surround yourself with successful people.

Want to be happy? Surround yourself with happy people.

Want to be healthy? Surround yourself with healthy people.

Want to become more confident? Surround yourself with confident people.

In essence, we become more like the people we hang out with.

It’s like what Jim Rohn tells us: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Take a moment to reflect on the following: Who are the people you spend most time with? Do they elevate you or bring you down? Are they proactive go-getters exhibiting qualities that you admire or people who just sit and criticise? Do they motivate or drain you?

The awesome thing about being around positive minded individuals, who have a habit of chasing their dreams and believe in taking responsibility for their lives, is that you’ll be inclined to grow in a positive direction as well.

They will have an impact on your thinking and consequently your behaviour. They will support you on your journey and move you towards inspired action.

Maximise the amount of time you spend with these people!

“Associate only with positive, focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with uninspiring attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek to climb.” – Robin Sharma

The amazing thing about where we are today in terms of technology, means that you can literally surround yourself with inspiring people (e.g. through Twitter, Facebook and audio books). As a result, I’ve put together a few ideas including these more modern methods, on how you can begin creating a more optimal environment for your personal growth and success:

  • Attend events in your local town/city that appeal to your interests, can help you learn something useful, or arouse your curiosity. Make sure to bring your business cards with you!
  • Seek out people who have skills/qualities that you admire and learn from them. Never assume that they have nothing to learn from you. We can always learn something from someone, regardless of where they are in their own life.
  • Minimise the time you spend hanging out with the wrong crowd and unhealthy influences, e.g. pessimists and those that can hurt your chances of achieving success.
  • Read more. Books, blogs, etc. You will be exposed to inspiring success stories, expand your library of knowledge and nurture your creative thinking.
  • Listen to audiobooks/podcasts when you are commuting and/or relaxing.
  • Follow inspirational people and those who you can learn from on social media channels.
  • Subscribe to newsletters, which will add value to your life and help you towards your goals in life.
  • Keep perspective. While it’s important to spend your time with those who are more successful than you, it is also great for your development to be around those who are at the same stage as you (so ideas and the journey can be shared) and those below you, who you can inspire and share your wisdom with.
  • Spend less time in front of the TV and your smartphone, and more time getting out there and connecting with people. You just never know what it might lead to!

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the above and how you’ve benefited from both the power of relationships and a supportive environment.

Powerful coaching for the ambitious, visionaries and high achievers

Is This You?

Have your say

  • Rajesh

    This is a wonderful article. I can relate my experiences to the points put forth by Simon.

  • ume

    Thanks for giving valuable guidance for disarrayed people like me.. 🙂 Appreciate your efforts for making others life better…

  • sheila

    I am inspired

  • rahul

    If the people who surround me are not the type of people whom I admire or I can say they carry a negative energy with them,then should I choose to be alone most of the time or should use some of the modern you have suggested…because it makes me very uncomfortable to be with such kind of people.I feel my energy is drained and efficiency reaches to its bottom…

    • Who are the sort of people you would love to be surrounded by Rahul? If your energy is being drained, then you will benefit from being around those who exude more positive energy. Remember, you make your choices. Then your choices make you. Every decision, no matter how small, alters the trajectory of your life.

  • samantha

    Hey guys i really need help I how to let my bad friends go and start having positive people in my life

    • Gombe

      I had that problem with one particularly toxic ‘friend’, turns out he was actually more an enemy and an opportunistic user in disguise. I did a cold turkey and just cut him out of my life. I made more life progress in one year after doing that, than in the three years before when he was in my life. We live is a very phoney world, where we are constantly told, “don’t complain”, “don’t criticise”, “don’t blame”, “don’t accuse”. Well if there is nothing wrong with anyone, then why do we have police, armies and prisons??? I said bull. This is a bad person. That is a fact. Only after I admitted that it was okay for me to feel that way by overcoming all the PC BS above was I able to make the decision to cut them out and boy was it a good one.

    • Simple prioritise spending more time with those people who have a positive impact on your life. Do that and your mindset will literally become powerful beyond recognition. Possibilities will begin opening and your mind will transcend limitations.

  • Julie C.

    I have always thought that people really influence the way that you behave, but I have never thought about how what you read or watch can influence you too. Now that I think about it, sometimes when I read a book I catch myself feeling as though I am a character in it too, which results in me following their behaviors or speech patterns. It makes me wonder what has the biggest effect on a person. Is it a matter of who you spend the most time with or of what type of connection you have with something? Also, when at what age do you get the most influenced by your surroundings?

    • Indeed Julie. What we feed our mind is just as important as what we feed our body. Definitely more about who we spend the most time because it’s not what we do once in a while that makes a difference but what we do everyday 🙂

  • Hey, Simon!
    In my early years of college, I thought that I was having the time of my life going out with people who were directionless and it you know, it was all about having fun and not caring about anything in the world.
    However, as the years passed by, I realized I wanted to do more and be more to myself and other people. I couldn’t achieve that by hanging out with people who had no plan for their lives.
    It was a lonely transition. I distanced myself from them, and found myself alone a lot.
    But I didn’t stay that way. I got out of the house and actively looked for people who also had ambitions for themselves and had the drive to succeed.
    Now I can say I’m rich with friends, but it took a lot of work to find them.
    it was worth it, though. 🙂

    • Thanks for sharing Nicah!!! Anything worthwhile takes a lot of work to get there. Commitment, consistency, persistence and patience are important skills on any personal journey 🙂

  • Sofia Alvarez Robles

    Thank you Simon, I really would like to do that but some kind of barriers i have like immigrant and background to fit in some groups of people.

  • Alistair James

    I could not agree more.

    A useful read.

  • Gregorio Nguema Elebiyo

    I could agree

  • Ake YuLila Amamira

    Thank you for sharing this simon ?


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